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What is Group Therapy?
When most people think of therapy, they envision a private one-on-one conversation between a therapist and a client. But group therapy, while often overlooked, offers a distinctive therapeutic approach with unique benefits. So, what exactly is group therapy? Simply put, group therapy involves a therapist (or sometimes two) working with a group of clients. While there are similarities to individual therapy—such as the focus on emotional well-being and mental health—group therapy has its own set of therapeutic factors that can be especially helpful for certain groups, such as gay men. These benefits are particularly valuable because of the shared experiences and challenges that gay men face, which can be more effectively addressed within the context of a group of individuals who understand those struggles.
What Makes a "Good" Therapy Group?
For group therapy to be effective, members must have a clear understanding of what to expect. A therapy group is an ecosystem with its own set of unspoken rules and dynamics. While part of the goal of group therapy is to allow natural dynamics to emerge among the participants, it is also crucial to establish clear rules and boundaries from the outset. These rules might include confidentiality (ensuring that what is said within the group stays within the group), attending sessions regularly and on time, and avoiding personal communication outside of group sessions.
A well-run group can create a space where vulnerability is nurtured, and participants can begin to break down barriers that might have prevented them from engaging authentically with others.
How Does Group Therapy Help?
Group therapy offers a number of therapeutic benefits. While there are many reasons why someone might seek group therapy, the following aspects are particularly important for gay men:
Fostering Connection: Many gay men experience a profound sense of isolation, often because they feel disconnected from their peers or from society at large. Group therapy provides an opportunity to foster deep connections with others who share similar experiences and challenges.
Decreasing Shame: For many gay men, shame is a persistent, almost invisible barrier to personal growth. Group therapy helps create a space where shame can be minimized, allowing participants to explore their emotions and experiences without fear of judgment.
Improving Interpersonal Skills: Gay men often face difficulties in navigating relationships due to societal stigma and internalized feelings of inferiority. In group therapy, participants can practice and refine their communication and interpersonal skills in a safe, supportive environment.
Expressing Emotions in a Safe, Affirmative Space: Many men, especially gay men, have been socialized to suppress their emotions. Group therapy offers a supportive environment where individuals can express their feelings in ways they may have been unable to do in their daily lives.
Altruism—Helping Others: There is immense healing that comes from helping others. The act of supporting fellow group members creates a sense of purpose and self-worth, which is especially powerful in group therapy.
While each of these benefits is significant, I would argue that the reduction of shame is perhaps the most profound benefit of group therapy for gay men.
Non-Sexual Relationships
A particular challenge for many gay men is forming and maintaining non-sexual relationships with other gay men. In a world where much of the social landscape is sexualized, it can be difficult for gay men to separate friendship from attraction. This overlap between sex and friendship is more common than most might think. For many gay men, past experiences may blur the lines between the two, leading them to struggle with how to form meaningful, non-sexual connections with others in the community. Group therapy offers an opportunity to explore these dynamics in a setting that emphasizes genuine connection and respect, rather than sexual attraction.
Healing Shame
From an early age, many gay men internalize feelings of “otherness.” We are often told that being gay makes us different from our peers, or even worse, demonized for our sexuality. We may hear that being gay is unnatural or sinful. These messages lead to a deep-seated internalized homophobia that can persist long after we come out. Even as adults, many gay men continue to carry a sense of shame and self-loathing, which can manifest in isolation, avoidance of group settings, and a reluctance to be vulnerable or authentic with others. In group therapy, participants have the chance to confront and begin to heal from this shame by sharing their experiences with others who truly understand and empathize.
Mutual Understanding
One of the most powerful aspects of group therapy for gay men is the sense of mutual understanding that exists within the group. There are certain topics—like navigating non-monogamy, using hook-up apps, dealing with body image issues, or growing up in the closet—that only another gay man can truly understand. While there are allies outside of the community who may be knowledgeable about these issues, only another gay man can truly grasp the nuances of these experiences. In an affirmative space with other gay men, participants can find comfort and validation without needing to explain themselves in detail. This shared experience is what makes group therapy so healing—it allows gay men to be seen and heard without the need for explanation or defense.
Let’s Talk About Sex
Gay men are often defined by their sexual orientation, but it is important to note that being gay is not synonymous with being defined solely by sex. However, sexuality is a central part of the gay male experience, and as such, many gay men want a space where they can discuss their sexual experiences, desires, and challenges without fear of judgment. Topics such as bottoming, the use of substances like poppers, or experiences in bathhouses may not be appropriate or comfortable to discuss in mixed-gender groups or with straight individuals. Group therapy specifically for gay men creates a safe environment to talk openly about sexual health and experiences, allowing for deeper self-reflection and emotional growth.
Introducing My New Group: Healthy Relationships for Gay Men
This spring, I am excited to be launching a new group called Healthy Relationships for Gay Men. As the name suggests, the group aims to provide a safe space for gay men to heal interpersonal trauma and work toward cultivating healthy relationships. This group will focus on the development of self-worth, connection, respect, and authenticity. Many gay men spend a significant portion of their lives feeling isolated, disconnected, or ashamed. These feelings can permeate relationships, making it difficult to form intimate, trusting bonds with others. Group therapy offers a space to practice building these connections, and through shared experiences, participants can begin to heal from the trauma of isolation and develop the skills needed to foster healthy, fulfilling relationships.
In this group, we will discuss everything relevant to the gay male experience, including relationships, sex, partying, family stress, and trauma. Unlike individual therapy, where these topics can be explored in isolation, group therapy allows participants to practice these skills in real time with others. It’s a unique opportunity to not only learn but also to experience personal growth and transformation in the context of the group dynamic. As you develop deeper relationships with others in the group, you may find that you’re able to take these lessons and apply them in your own life, both within and outside of the group setting.
Men and Our Feelings
Men, in general, have often been socialized to suppress their emotions, except for anger. This social conditioning affects gay men as well. As a result, many men, including gay men, feel a deep sense of shame when it comes to expressing vulnerable emotions. Overcoming a lifetime of societal expectations around emotional suppression is difficult, but group therapy provides a space where gay men can practice expressing their feelings. It is a safe environment where vulnerability is not only accepted but encouraged, helping participants break free from years of emotional repression.
Gay Group Therapy in Los Angeles
I am a licensed psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, with Telehealth services available throughout California and Florida. My practice focuses specifically on providing therapy to gay men, and I have been running therapy groups for gay men for several years, including a group sponsored by the AIDS Health Foundation. I have also led DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) skills groups at inpatient and outpatient facilities throughout Los Angeles. Additionally, I proudly serve as a board member of the Group Psychotherapy Association of Los Angeles (GPALA), where we offer training to therapists to improve their group therapy skills.
How Do I Get Started?
If you’re interested in learning more about my new group, Healthy Relationships for Gay Men, please reach out to me for a free consultation. During this consultation, we will discuss your goals and what you can expect from the group. It’s important to find the right fit for you, and I will walk you through the entire process to ensure that you feel comfortable. Once the group begins, I recommend committing to at least six months to fully benefit from the group dynamic. Sessions will be held weekly for 90 minutes, and your consistent participation is key to getting the most out of this transformative experience. Again, my goal is to provide effective group therapy for all gay men in Los Angeles.
If you are looking for a space to heal, grow, and connect with other gay men who understand your unique experiences, I invite you to take the first step and reach out. Group therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool for personal growth and emotional healing, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey.
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