You may not be sure whether your substance use is a problem. Many of the men I work with don’t identify as “addicted.” They simply know something isn’t working.
Substances may be tied to:
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stress
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connection
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sex
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escape
Substance use often begins as a solution. Therapy helps you understand what it’s solving — and what might work better.
My Experience
I’ve worked across multiple levels of care, including:
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private practice
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intensive outpatient programs
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residential treatment
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Much of my work focuses on the intersection of: identity, intimacy, and addiction in gay men.
Substance Use & Gay Men:
For many gay men, substance use doesn’t happen in isolation.
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It can intersect with:
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identity
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shame
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dating culture
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belonging
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intimacy
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In some cases, use becomes linked with sex or connection — particularly in party-and-play (PnP) or chemsex contexts.
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Understanding this cultural and relational context is essential.
Who This Is For:
Substance use therapy may be helpful if:
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You’re unsure whether your use is a problem
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You’ve tried to cut back but haven’t been able to
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Use is tied to sex or relationships
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You’re sober but still feel stuck
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Shame plays a role in your use
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You feel conflicted about change
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You don’t need to identify as addicted to begin. We begin by understanding your relationship with substances — not forcing a decision.
Understanding Its Purpose
Substance use manifests differently for everyone.
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Whether it's turning to alcohol after a stressful day or developing a drug habit through risky behaviors. These behaviors serve as coping mechanisms, attempting to numb and escape emotional pain.
To break free from addiction, it's essential to first understand its purpose—why we turn to substances in the first place.
As Gabor Mate suggests, the question isn't "why the addiction?" but rather "why the pain?" Understanding this is the first step toward healing.
If any of this feels familiar, you’re welcome to begin with a consultation.
Treating Chem-Sex
I am a chem-sex addiction expert.
What is chem-sex? The use of substances to augment of heighten sexual practices.
For example: in the queer community, there is an epidemic of gay men combining crystal meth, GHB, and other substances with sex.
If substances and sex are often used together too often, the brain learns to associate them with one another--leading to an intertwined addictive process.
Luckily, this association can be broken. The brain can and will re-learn. Through our work together, I can help you regain a healthy sex life.
Learn more about chemsex therapy here.
FAQs
Do I need to stop using before starting therapy?
No. You don’t need to stop in order to begin. Therapy can start wherever you are — including if you’re still using. But your substance use will determine your level of care. Some clients may require residential or detox before they can benefit from therapy. I will provide recommendations once we have the chance to speak.
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Is substance use always the same as addiction?
Not necessarily. Many people feel conflicted about their use without identifying as addicted. Therapy focuses on understanding your relationship with substances rather than applying labels.
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Can therapy help if I still want to keep using?
Yes. Some clients pursue harm reduction or moderation rather than abstinence. We can explore safer and more intentional patterns together.
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What if I’m not sure I want to change?
That’s very common. Therapy can be a space to explore that ambivalence without pressure.
How does substance use connect to sex?
For some gay men, substances become linked with intimacy, confidence, or connection — especially in party-and-play (PnP) or chemsex contexts. Therapy helps unpack these associations.
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Is chemsex the same as addiction?
Not always. Some men engage situationally or socially. Therapy helps clarify whether the pattern feels aligned with your goals.
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Can therapy help even if I’m sober now?
Yes. Many clients remain emotionally affected by past substance use or continue to struggle with intimacy, identity, or shame.
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Is this confidential?
Yes. Therapy is confidential and designed to provide a safe space to explore these patterns without judgment.
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How does porn use relate to substance use?
For some men, pornography and substances become part of the same cycle of arousal, escape, or emotional regulation.
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Is ketamine-assisted therapy an option?
In some cases, ketamine-assisted therapy can be a supportive adjunct. It’s not appropriate for everyone, but may help interrupt entrenched patterns for some clients.
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Do you take an abstinence-only approach?
No. Therapy can support: harm reduction, moderation or abstinence.
You don't have to do this alone.
I have years of specialized experience treating substance use in private practice, intensive outpatient and residential levels of care. I can help you understand what's driving the urge to self-medicate. I work with clients using both harm reduction and abstinence based recovery models. I can also connect you with the resources you will need to beat this.
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You should be proud of yourself for seeking help. It takes courage to face life on life’s terms--without the numbing effects of drugs and alcohol.
