“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness."- Bessel van der Kolk
What is trauma?
You may not think of your experiences as trauma.
Many of the men I work with simply know they feel:
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anxious without understanding why
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disconnected in relationships
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stuck in patterns that repeat
Trauma isn’t always a single dramatic event.
Often, it develops quietly — through relationships, identity experiences, or environments where safety was uncertain.
There are several types of trauma.
The earlier the trauma happens in life, the most impactful it will be on the psyche. Trauma was first introduced as a phenomenon suffered by combat veterans. Now, we understand trauma as anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope. This can include:
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Relational Trauma
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Childhood Trauma
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Sexual Trauma
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Intergenerational trauma
Trauma & The Gay Male Experience
Many of my clients are gay men navigating trauma connected to:
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rejection
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shame
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bullying
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secrecy
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conditional acceptance
Even without a single “big event,” growing up in environments where emotional safety was limited can shape how safe it feels to:
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trust
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connect
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be vulnerable
What does it mean to heal?
Trauma often appears as:
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chronic anxiety
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emotional numbness
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difficulty trusting others
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shame or self-criticism
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self-sabotage
You may feel:
hyper-alert in relationships
distant from your emotions
unsure why closeness feels risky
Trauma Therapy May Help If
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You feel unsafe in relationships
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You struggle with shame or self-worth
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You avoid closeness
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You feel numb or disconnected
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You’re constantly on edge
I practice the most evidenced-based trauma therapy modalities, which include:
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IFS (internal family systems)
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Cognitive behavioral therapy
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Cognitive processing
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Prolonged exposure
If you'd like to learn more about trauma therapy, you’re welcome to begin with a consultation.
Healing Begins With Safety
Trauma disrupts our sense of safety — in our bodies, relationships, and environment.
This can leave us:
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constantly alert
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emotionally shut down
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unsure who to trust
Therapy helps restore that foundation.
What does it mean to heal?
Through trauma therapy, clients often move toward:
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greater emotional stability
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stronger relationships
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reduced shame
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increased self-trust
Hear More About Trauma Therapy:
Freqently Asked Questions
Do I need to have experienced a major event for this to be trauma?
No. Trauma often develops through repeated experiences such as rejection, shame, or unsafe relationships — not just single events.
How do I know if trauma therapy is right for me?
If you notice patterns like anxiety, emotional numbness, difficulty trusting others, or feeling unsafe in relationships, trauma-informed therapy may be helpful.
Will I have to relive painful memories?
Not necessarily. Trauma therapy focuses on understanding how past experiences affect the present — not forcing you to relive them.
Do you work specifically with gay men?
Yes. Much of my trauma work focuses on the unique ways identity, shame, and relational experiences shape emotional safety for gay men.
How do I get started?
You can begin with a brief consultation to see whether trauma-focused therapy feels like a good fit.
How long does trauma therapy take?
There’s no fixed timeline. Some clients focus on specific patterns for a period of time, while others engage in longer-term work. The pace depends on your goals and readiness.
Do you use EMDR in trauma therapy?
Yes. EMDR is one of the approaches I use to help process experiences that continue to affect how you feel, think, or relate to others.
Do you incorporate ketamine-assisted therapy into trauma work?
In some cases, ketamine-assisted therapy can be a supportive option for trauma work. It’s not the first step for everyone, but for some clients it can help reduce emotional defenses and create new pathways for insight and healing. If this is something you're curious about, we can discuss whether it may be appropriate for your goals.
RELATED AREAS OF WORK:
Trauma can influence intimacy, identity, and behavioral patterns in ways that aren’t always obvious.
You can explore related support here:
→ Gay Men’s Sexual Health
→ Sex Addiction Therapy for Gay Men
→ Conversion Therapy Survivor Support
Understanding Trauma More Deeply
If you'd like to explore how trauma can continue to shape identity, intimacy, and emotional patterns, the following articles offer additional perspective.
