_edited.png)
YOU PROBABLY DEAL WITH A LOT OF SHAME
​That's because you grew up in a family, culture, and society that told you that you weren't enough. You were told that there was a part of you that was inherently flawed and unacceptable. As a result, you likely deveoped coping mechanisms to tolerate this shame. You may have developed perfectionism, trying to make yourself as palatable as possible to others. You have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb yourself to feeling low self-worth.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE
When I first sought therapy myself, a lot of my experiences as a gay man went unaddressed—especially when it came to sex and dating. That's why I've developed my own method to help gay men live their best lives. My approach synthesizes the best of several therapeutic modalities, including EMDR and cognitive behavioral therapy. The primary focus of my practice is providing psychotherapy to gay men. In therapy, I can help you re-discover and celebrate your authentic self.
Common Mental Health Topics For Gay Men:
Internalized Homophobia
You have built a successful and satisfying life. You have a thriving career, great friends, and exciting travel opportunities. But, despite all of this, you still feel a sense of shame. You still struggle to fully accept yourself and feel confident.
Growing up in the Closet
Growing up, you didn't fit in with the other boys. You were teased and bullied for being effeminate. You may have been outed for your perceived sexuality before you even knew you were gay. Now, you still find yourself on high-alert in predominately straight environments.
Substance Use
You may not think of yourself as an addict. But you like to have fun. Pretty soon, G and ketamine become part of your regular routine on a Friday night.
Low Self-Esteem
You join a gym to start developing the ideal body you want. On your first day you walk in and you see tons of other gay men with perfect bodies. You immediately feel overcome with insecurity and a sense of defeat.
Sex
You've begun dating someone that you're really clicking with. You want to initiate sex, but you're nervous. You don't feel comfortable with intimacy. You're not sure how to express your sexual needs in a direct, healthy way.
Anxiety
You have a full social life and a great group of friends, but you still find yourself floodded with anxiety in most group settings.
Read more about gay male psychology on My Blog.
LGBTQ+ Family Planning
There are unique and specific nuances that LGBTQ+ identified parents face. For us, the process is simply different.
​
The beauty within the challenges is that we create our families with an intent and purpose that takes on a profound meaning.
​
It is essential that you connect with resources that celebrate LGBTQ+ folks.
I can help connect you with local fertility, surrogacy, and adoption services that affirm your needs. This is particularly important as the laws for adoption and surrogacy vary by state.
​
I can help you navigate your emotional health as you walk through this milestone.
Gay Men and Masculinity
Gay men were once gay boys who were usually told they weren’t masculine enough. They played with the wrong toys and listened to the wrong music. Fast forward a couple of decades, and now we’re out gay men living in a world that celebrates our femininity more than ever. Which is great. But what about our masculinity? Did we ever get a chance to truly reconcile our gender expression, or was masculinity simply left behind in that closet?
​
​First, we need to get clear on what masculinity really is. To make it simple, I’ll borrow three descriptors: 1. Protect, 2. Provide, 3. Procreate. Take the time to consider if you feel that you capture these in your life. Do you have opportunities to protect others? Are you a contributing provider? Again, these concepts don’t only exist in heteronormative paradigms. You can protect and provide in ways that have nothing to do with money, power, or physical strength.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Can therapy help us deal with internalized homophobia affecting our relationship?
Absolutely—and it’s a crucial focus in many gay relationships. The truth is, all gay men wrestle with some level of internalized homophobia. These beliefs will inevitably get triggered in romantic relationships. In therapy, we start by identifying how these internalized messages have shaped your self-image and behavior. Most men aren’t even aware of these impacts at first—but once we bring them into the light, healing becomes possible.
​
How can therapy help me overcome perfectionism and low self-worth?
Perfectionism is a trap—it’s a mindset that leads to constant frustration, fueled by the illusion that if we’re perfect, we’ll finally feel worthy. But the reality is, perfection is unattainable. So instead of reaching a goal, we keep falling short. My approach begins by challenging these beliefs using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Then, we work to uncover the deeper source of your insecurity—exploring why you’ve come to believe you need to “perfect” yourself to feel enough.
​
How does Michael Pezzullo’s experience as a gay man shape his approach?
I genuinely believe gay men benefit from working with gay male therapists. There are nuances in our experiences that are difficult to fully grasp unless you’ve lived them. Of course, not all gay men are the same—but we’ve all had to go through some process of recognizing our sexuality, integrating it into our identity, and ideally, coming out to the world around us. That shared understanding deeply informs my therapeutic approach.
​
How will I know if this therapy approach is the right fit for me?
This is a great—and very important—question. Finding the right therapist is essential to your progress. In my experience, the best "fit" has less to do with the specific therapeutic method, and more to do with the therapist’s personality and style. I always recommend starting with a consultation call. If there’s a sense of connection, go ahead and book a session or two. Most people can tell pretty quickly whether the therapist’s approach feels right.
​
What qualifications and experience do you bring to working with gay men?
Beyond my lived experience, I have eight years of clinical training and practice focused specifically on working with gay men in West Hollywood and across the Los Angeles area. I’ve supported clients at every level of care—from residential treatment and intensive outpatient programs to the private practice setting where I work now. My approach is informed by both clinical expertise and a deep understanding of the cultural, emotional, and relational challenges gay men face.
You don't have to do this alone.
I have years of specialized experience treating gay men in private practice, intensive outpatient and residential levels of care. To get started, contact me for a free consultation. We’ll discuss your goals and I’ll give you a sense of how I work. My intention is to make sure everyone finds the right therapeutic space for their needs. I look forward to meeting you.
