Staying Sane During The Holidays: Navigating your Mental Health from Thanksgiving to the New Year

Mental Health Suffers During The Holidays

We all know that the holidays, while filled with joy and festivities, can also be a time of difficulty. Studies show that the majority of folks experience a significant increase in stress during the holidays. Which is a shame, because the holidays are supposed to be fun. Here are a few tips to sail through the next couple of weeks as smoothly as possible.

Don’t Talk Politics

Politics and family are often a terrible combination. Since we’ve just had a very triggering election season, tensions are particularly high right now. If you want to debate certain policies with certain specific members, that’s usually perfectly fine. But now is probably not the best time to do that. You probably already know which family members you’re aligned with politically, and those you are not. You’re likely not going to change anyone’s political ideology over Thanksgiving dinner. Instead, a political debate will likely incite conflict. My advice: save yourself the frustration and stick to more innocuous topics.

Set Limits

The most common frustration I hear about the holidays is that we are forced to spend time with family members with whom we may not necessarily get along. The choice to spend time with your family is completely up to you. Some people enjoy family activities, while others avoid them altogether. If you do find certain family situations triggering, my suggestion is to set clear time limits. You don’t have to give triggering family members unlimited use of your time. Having boundaries over your time can help you feel as though your emotional well-being is more protected. 

Set Reasonable Expectations

We’re all familiar with the Hallmark version of the holiday season—endless festivities, the perfect kiss under the mistletoe, receiving our favorite gifts. But these ideals can often set us up for disappointment. The truth is that the holiday season is not a perfect bubble of happiness for anyone. Even if you do enjoy this time of year for the most part, there are bound to be some bad days here and there. So my suggestion is to set reasonable expectations. You don’t have to plan for the worst, but you also don’t have to hang your hopes on perfection.

Don’t Compare . . . and Despair

This time of year it's easy to fall into another trap: compare and despair. Scroll through your social media feed, and it looks as though everyone is having the most festive celebration. It’s easy to look at those images and feel deflated. Keep in mind that we’re not all having as much fun as we advertise. You don’t have to compare your reality to your friends’ highlight reels. In between posting cute pictures under their perfectly decorated Christmas trees, they’re fighting with their significant others, feeling anxious about travel plans and arguing about the presidential election. They may not even like tree trimming at all but do it out of obligation or tradition. The point is: everyone isn’t having as much fun as you think. I promise. 

Don’t Break the Bank

Another big source of stress during the holiday season is money. Between buying gifts and purchasing plane tickets, this time of year can be very costly. Many folks find themselves spending far beyond their usual budget. I’d encourage everyone not to fall into this trap. You don’t want to stretch yourself too thin in December, only to find yourself with exorbitant financial stress in January. I’d recommend picking a reasonable budget and sticking to it. You’ll be glad you did come January 1st.

Keep up with Self-Care

During this time of year, it’s very easy to let our wellness practices slide. We miss workouts, often take a couple of weeks off from therapy, and typically indulge in lots of unhealthy food. It’s OK to slack a little, but I’d suggest that you don’t give up your wellness practices altogether. How many people find that, come January, they feel completely thrown off emotionally and physically? So, if you can’t get to the gym 5 to 6 days a week as usual, that’s OK. Just try to go once or twice. Or even do a quick workout at home. Try scheduling at least one therapy session for some continuity. Just having a little consistency can go a long way. 

Create Your Own Fun

If you strip away any sense of obligation or social pressure, have you ever considered what would make this time of year truly special for you? Our families and culture have told us what we should be doing this time of year. Now that you’re an adult, you can change the narrative. Ask yourself: What would you like to get out of the holidays? Sure, it could be family time or Secret Santa. Or it could be something completely different. Maybe you want to take a trip with a couple of friends or even by yourself. If you want to enjoy the holidays, take the time to do something you actually enjoy. Your mental health during the holiday season will benefit greatly.

You can check out this blog, and others like it, in the Weho Times. And you can learn more about my psychotherapy practice here.