Is Gay Cruising Still Relevant in 2025? A Therapist Weighs In

Cruising has always been a complicated part of gay culture. For decades, it was a lifeline—a way for men to connect in a world where being openly gay was dangerous, even criminal. Today, in 2025, apps dominate the dating landscape, but cruising still persists in parks, gyms, clubs, and bathrooms. In fact, you may have heard story on the news that over 200 gay men were arrested this year during undercover operations at New York City’s Penn Station.

So what makes cruising so enduring, and how should we think about it now? As a therapist practicing in Los Angeles, I often hear clients struggling with questions around sexuality, risk, and shame. This blog explores the ethics of cruising, its psychological draw, and how to approach it safely and responsibly.

What Exactly Is Cruising?

“Cruising” refers to the act of seeking anonymous sexual encounters, often in public or semi-public spaces. While the stereotype may conjure up images of dark restrooms or shadowy parks, cruising has historically been about far more than just sex.

• Historical context: Before dating apps and gay bars were widely accessible, cruising was one of the only ways gay men could find one another. It was a survival strategy in an era when visibility meant danger.

• Evolving spaces: Over time, the settings for cruising have shifted—from parks and rest stops to clubs, gyms, and now digital platforms. Yet the in-person tradition hasn’t disappeared.

• Why it persists in 2025: For many, cruising remains appealing because it offers anonymity, immediacy, and a sense of thrill. Others see it as a fetish or kink—a rebellion against the sanitized swiping culture of dating apps.

In other words, cruising is not a relic. It has adapted to modern life while retaining its underground edge.

The Psychological Landscape: Why Men Still Cruise

From a therapeutic perspective, the psychology of cruising is layered and complex.

• The desire for liberation: Cruising often represents a form of sexual freedom. It’s an opportunity to explore desires without labels, expectations, or commitments.

• Shame and secrecy: Many gay men still carry internalized shame from growing up in a heteronormative world. For some, the anonymity of cruising provides a temporary escape from judgment—but it can also reinforce cycles of secrecy.

• Rebellion and identity: Cruising can be a way of rejecting mainstream dating culture. While apps emphasize profiles and “preferences,” cruising creates space for spontaneity and unpredictability.

• Consent in context: Unlike traditional dating, cruising relies heavily on non-verbal cues—eye contact, gestures, and body language. This can create a unique form of intimacy, but it also carries risks of misunderstanding.

As a therapist, I encourage clients to reflect not only on what they’re seeking through cruising, but also why. Is it about freedom? Connection? Rebellion? Understanding motivation is a key step in healthier engagement.

Ethical Dilemmas: When Therapy Meets Cruising

Cruising raises difficult ethical questions, especially for those in helping professions or men worried about legal consequences.

• Public vs. private: By definition, much of cruising takes place in public or semi-public spaces, which raises issues of privacy, legality, and exposure. Getting arrested or outed can have life-changing consequences.

• Therapist responsibility: As a clinician, I don’t judge clients who cruise. My role is to help them navigate choices with clarity and compassion—exploring what works for them without shaming.

• Harm reduction: Whether someone chooses to cruise or not, it’s important to understand harm-reduction strategies. This includes safer sex practices, awareness of predatory dynamics, and setting personal boundaries.

Cruising is not inherently “unethical.” But it does involve navigating a minefield of consent, risk, and personal values.

The Role of Gay Cruising in LGBTQ+ History

To dismiss cruising entirely is to overlook its vital place in gay history. For much of the 20th century, it was the only way men could meet.

• A survival strategy: In an era when being openly gay could mean arrest or violence, cruising provided a hidden lifeline.

• A subculture of resilience: Over time, it became its own community, with unwritten rules, signals, and codes that helped men find each other.

• An evolving tradition: While apps have transformed dating, cruising still exists as a reminder of resilience and creativity in the face of oppression.

Today, the practice often divides opinion. Some see it as outdated or dangerous; others see it as an enduring expression of queer sexuality.

Gay Cruising in 2025: Risk, Reward, and Rebellion

Is cruising ethical or practical today? The answer depends on context.

• The risks are real: Legal consequences, exposure, and personal safety should never be minimized. There is nothing liberating about ending up in jail.

• The rewards can be real, too: For some, cruising provides excitement, freedom, and moments of unexpected human connection.

• A channel for rebellion: Many clients describe cruising as a way of channeling rebellion—against conformity, heteronormativity, or even the monotony of apps. But it’s worth asking: Is this the rebellion I want to choose?

Cruising is no longer necessary for connection—but it remains meaningful for those who seek its thrill.

A Therapist’s Perspective: Moving Beyond the Hookup

At its core, sexuality is always a vehicle for self-expression. Whether through cruising, dating apps, or long-term relationships, the question becomes: What am I really trying to express?

• Exploring expression: Cruising can express desire, freedom, secrecy, or even anger. Understanding which is true for you is part of healthy self-reflection.

• Safer alternatives: For those seeking excitement or anonymity, roleplay, kink spaces, or private events may provide safer outlets than public cruising.

• Integrating insight: Therapy can help men unpack the layers of cruising—how it relates to shame, identity, and self-worth—so they can make choices aligned with their values.

Final Thoughts

Cruising is neither all good nor all bad. It’s a behavior shaped by history, stigma, survival, and desire. In 2025, it carries risks, but it also continues to reflect the complexity of gay sexuality.

For those wrestling with questions about cruising, the goal is not judgment but clarity. Ask yourself:

• What am I seeking?

• Is this form of expression aligned with my safety and values?

• Are there healthier or safer outlets available to me?

By approaching cruising with nuance, honesty, and self-awareness, gay men can better navigate its ethical and emotional terrain.

If you’re exploring your relationship with sexuality, risk, or intimacy, therapy can help. As a clinician offering gay therapy in Los Angeles, I work with clients to unpack the deeper layers of desire, shame, and expression—helping them move toward connection, authenticity, and well-being.

If you’d like to learn more about my practice, you can book a complementary consultation. You can also read more about my psychotherapy work with gay men.

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