A Gay Therapist Debunks 5 Homophobic Myths (and Tucker Carlson)

Conversations about sexuality today can feel louder and more confusing than ever, and many public commentators have helped shape those conversations—sometimes responsibly, sometimes not. You may have heard Tucker Carlson’s recent podcast discussing gay identity with Milo Yiannopoulos. As a gay therapist, I’ve spent years helping gay men untangle the shame, doubt, and internal conflict that come from absorbing homophobic narratives—whether from family, religion, society, or political pundits.

The tricky thing about gay shame is that it often isn’t explicit. It hides in the edges of your thinking:“Am I really okay?” “What if those people are right?” “What if something did make me this way?”

Even confident, out, successful gay men may secretly carry doubts they never say aloud. Many fear that exploring their shame will unleash emotions they’ve avoided for years. But the truth is, avoiding these narratives allows them to stay powerful. Facing them is what frees you.

This article breaks down the top five homophobic claims—claims often repeated in popular culture, sometimes by influential figures like Tucker Carlson—and explains why they simply don’t hold up. The goal isn’t to “win” an argument. The goal is to help you evaluate these narratives using facts, not fear.

1. “It’s not natural.”

One of the oldest and laziest homophobic claims is that homosexuality is “not natural.” But history and biology disagree.

Homosexuality has been documented across cultures for thousands of years. Ancient Greece, Indigenous North American tribes, various African societies, and countless other civilizations recognized and accepted same-sex relationships long before Western religious norms were dominant. Even more compelling: same-sex behavior appears in hundreds of animal species. Dolphins, penguins, lions, bonobos—the list goes on.

When something appears across time, geography, and biology, it’s natural by definition.

Opponents often respond with, “But gay couples can’t biologically reproduce.” And yes—sex between two men does not create a baby. But “natural” does not equal “reproductive.” Much of nature isn’t tied to reproduction.

• Brain cancer is natural.

• Schizophrenia is natural.

• Infertility is natural.

• Art, music, and spirituality are natural human expressions, but not reproductive behaviors.

If the argument is that “only things that lead to reproduction are morally acceptable,” then the vast majority of human life—including every straight couple using birth control—would be ethically suspect.

The “natural” argument crumbles under even minimal scrutiny.

2. “Gay men have worse outcomes.”

A common claim in anti-gay rhetoric is that being gay leads to undesirable life outcomes—financial problems, relationship instability, or psychological decline. But this idea collapses when compared to actual data.

On average, gay men in the United States:

• Earn more money than straight men

• Are more educated

• Have marriages that tend to last longer

These trends don’t erase the real challenges gay men face—discrimination, trauma, family rejection, and stigma—but they do directly contradict the idea that homosexuality inherently leads to dysfunction. The problems gay men experience are typically the result of homophobia, not homosexuality.

When you remove systemic discrimination from the equation, gay men live lives that are just as varied, stable, and successful as anyone else. The “negative outcomes” talking point is not a fact—it’s a fear tactic.

3. “Religion says it’s wrong.”

This is the most emotionally charged claim, and often the most difficult for clients to unpack. Many religions have texts or interpretations that condemn same-sex behavior. But even within faith communities, there is significant disagreement. There are gay Christians, gay Jews, gay Muslims, gay Buddhists—people who practice their faith with integrity and authenticity.

Religious interpretation is not static. Most people don’t follow biblical rules about clothing, food, marriage, divorce, or gender roles. Yet sexuality is treated as if it’s the one rule carved into stone.

As a therapist, I don’t argue with someone’s religious convictions. People have the right to believe what they believe. But it’s important to recognize that many religious scholars, clergy members, and denominations interpret scripture differently and affirm LGBTQ people fully.

Religion is not a monolith, and it should never be used as a universal explanation for morality or identity.

4. “It’s a trauma response.”

This narrative has gained traction online in the last decade, often appearing in conversations where people try to identify the “cause” of homosexuality. The theory goes: something bad happened in childhood, and that event “skewed” a person’s sexuality.

But research does not support this claim.

There is no evidence linking higher ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) scores with being gay. Trauma can influence relationships, self-esteem, boundaries, and emotional regulation—but it does not determine sexual orientation. If trauma caused homosexuality, we would see massively elevated rates of gay identity among trauma survivors, and we don’t.

Sexual orientation is not a symptom. It is not a disorder. It is not damage. It is an identity.

This narrative is not just incorrect—it’s harmful. It mislabels normal human diversity as pathology.

5. “Gay men groom kids.”

This talking point has surged in recent years, often tied to political rhetoric and media commentary. The underlying motivation—protecting children—is valid. Everyone wants kids to be safe. But equating gay men with danger has no factual basis and contributes to harmful stereotypes that have existed for decades.

Gay men are not interested in children. If anything, the culture of gay men is far more focused on travel, nightlife, relationships, friendships, fitness, and self-expression. The idea that gay identity is linked to harming children is statistically false and socially destructive.

What most gay men do care about is ensuring that kids—especially queer kids—aren’t bullied or shamed for who they are. That’s not grooming. That’s compassion.

Tucker Carlson & Gay Myths

Public figures can influence cultural beliefs, but they don’t have the authority to define your identity. Homophobic narratives succeed when we avoid them. They crumble when we analyze them. When investigated, Tucker Carlson's gay narratives quickly fall apart.

If part of you still worries that “maybe something’s wrong,” that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been exposed to misinformation for a long time. Facing these beliefs isn’t about winning debates. It’s about reclaiming your peace, confidence, and dignity.

If you’d like to learn more about my practice, you can book a complementary consultation. You can also read more about my psychotherapy work with gay men.

Check out my Youtube Channel for more!

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