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How to Interview a New Therapist (Especially If You're LGBTQ+)
- Michael Pezzullo
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
If you’ve ever looked for a therapist, you know the process can feel overwhelming. Between directories, bios, specialties, fees, and availability, it’s easy to get lost in the logistics—and harder still to know who’s actually going to help you.
The good news? Most therapists now offer free consultation calls before booking a full session. Think of this as a low-pressure way to test the waters. You’re not committing to anything; you’re just seeing if there’s potential.
But then the question becomes: What should I actually ask during that consult call?
Whether you're gay, queer, or simply looking for someone affirming and aligned, this guide is here to help you navigate those early conversations and find the therapist who’s truly right for you. As a LGBTQ+ therapist, myhope is to speak to the needsof all clients--regardless of identity.
1. Do They Really Hear You?
This might sound basic, but it’s essential. A good therapist doesn’t just listen—they hear you. You’ll notice this in small but meaningful ways. Maybe they repeat your language back to you or reflect your words with clarity.
For example, if you say, “I’ve been feeling anxious in relationships lately,” a tuned-in therapist might say, “It sounds like your relationships have been triggering a lot of anxiety—especially recently.”
This kind of mirroring shows that they’re tracking your experience and attuned to what’s most important to you. It also helps you feel seen, which is foundational in building trust.
Red flag: If they interrupt, minimize your concerns, or seem more focused on telling you about their credentials than understanding you, that’s a sign to move on.
2. Can They Actually Help You?
Let’s be real: not every therapist is the right fit for every client. All therapists have general competence, but most of us also specialize in certain populations or issues. Some focus on trauma. Others on couples. Some have specific training in LGBTQ+ mental health, and others don’t.
If you’re gay, queer, trans, or part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s especially important to ask:
“Do you have experience working with queer clients?”
“How do you approach issues like internalized homophobia, coming out, or identity exploration?”
Their answers don’t need to be perfect, but they should show humility, experience, and cultural competency. If they seem unsure, defensive, or vague, you might not feel safe being your full self in therapy—which defeats the purpose.
3. Do They Jump to Conclusions?
Here’s a common mistake people make: assuming that insight in a short consult call = expertise.
A good therapist may share an initial impression or a few reflections—but they won’t act like they’ve figured you out in 15 minutes. Therapy is a process. If someone immediately offers a diagnosis, treatment plan, or “solution,” be cautious.
There’s nothing wrong with offering ideas or observations early on. But be wary of any therapist who seems to rush to judgment or oversimplify your experience. The best therapists are curious, not prescriptive. They’ll ask questions, explore with you, and avoid giving quick fixes.
4. Do They Have a Clear Plan?
One of the most disheartening things in therapy is feeling like nothing’s happening—or worse, that you’re left on your own. A strong therapist should offer clear next steps during your consult.
This could sound like:
“If you’d like to work together, we can schedule an intake session to dive deeper.”
“Based on what you’ve shared, I think you’d really benefit from someone who specializes in X. I’m happy to refer you to a colleague I trust.”
“Here’s how I usually begin work with clients in your situation…”
Even if they’re not the right fit, a good therapist won’t leave you hanging. They’ll help guide you to your next move—because your mental health matters.
5. Do They Have a Clear Perspective?
Consult calls are short. You might only have 15 to 20 minutes. But in that time, you should be able to get a feel for the therapist’s style and personality.
Do they seem warm and approachable? Clinical and structured? Do they ask thoughtful questions? Do they seem like someone you’d feel comfortable being vulnerable with?
Chemistry matters. And no, that doesn’t mean your therapist needs to be your best friend. But you should feel a sense of connection—or at least potential for one. Don’t ignore your gut.
Tip: Some therapists may also share a little bit about their therapeutic orientation (like CBT, psychodynamic, relational, etc.). If they do, don’t be afraid to ask what that means in plain English.
6. Questions You Can Ask During the Call
Not sure how to steer the conversation? Here are a few sample questions you can use during your consult:
“Can you tell me about your experience working with LGBTQ+ clients?”
“How would you describe your style or approach as a therapist?”
“What does a typical session look like?”
“How do you help clients track progress over time?”
“What happens if I’m not sure therapy is working?”
And don’t forget—you can ask about logistics, too:
“What’s your fee per session?”
“Do you offer sliding scale options?”
“Are you an in-network or out-of-network provider?”
“Can I submit for reimbursement through my insurance?”
7. Remember: You’re Interviewing Them
This is your mental health. You have every right to be selective.You’re not being picky, dramatic, or “too much.”
You’re hiring someone to walk beside you through life’s most tender and vulnerable moments. You deserve someone who feels safe, competent, and affirming.
Final Thoughts (as an LGBTQ+ Therapist)
Finding the right therapist is a process—and it can take time. But when you know what to look for, the journey becomes a lot less daunting.
Pay attention to how you feel during that first consult:
Do you feel heard?
Do you feel respected?
Do you feel like there’s potential for trust?
If the answer is yes, you’re on the right path. And if not? Keep looking. The right therapist is out there—and when you find them, it’s worth it.
If you’d like to learn more about my practice, you can book a complementary consultation. You can also read more about my psychotherapy work with LGBTQ+ clients.