Gay Men and ADHD

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)—formerly known as ADD—is one of the most discussed and misunderstood diagnoses. Phrases like “I am so ADD!“ have become common place throwaway lines for many of us when we find ourselves distracted here and there. But what exactly is this disorder and how do gay men experience ADHD?

What is ADHD?

ADHD is essentially a disorder of attention. Classically, folks with ADHD struggle with organization, completing tasks and punctuality. Some, not all, also struggle with impulse control. Contrary to popular belief, folks with ADHD are not simply unable to focus. In fact, folks with ADHD also have the ability to hyperfocus on things they really enjoy—a superpower that neuro-typical folks do not have. Most ADHD is pronounced in adolescence and most folks do grow out of it to some degree. But many do not.

Is it really a “Disorder”?

ADHD implies that there is a “correct” way to apply attention to tasks. But how do we determine these criteria? A lot of the doctrine that we “should” be able to sit for a prolonged period of time and sustain attention to one task comes from academic settings where we are required to. Many argue that the ability to split attention in many directly simultaneously can actually be adaptive, especially during other times in history where it wasn’t necessary to sit for a law exam for 4 hours straight. Is it possible that something we’ve deemed problematic could actually be useful?

Is ADHD Biological?

This is a resounding yes. ADHD is a biological condition. There has been a lot of misinformation recently that ADHD is some sort of trauma response that children learn. Gabor Mate, who I deeply respect for his addiction work, wrote a disappointedly misinformed and inaccurate book claiming this to be the case. You cannot learn ADHD. Sure, we do live in a world now where we are bombarded with information constantly, which can be distracting to even the most focused person. But being overwhelmed is very different from the experience ADHD folks have.

Is Medication Necessary?

I would argue that medication is the most effective treatment available. Whether you opt to take medication or not is completely up to you. It’s a very personal choice that you shouldn’t feel obligated to make. While there are a variety of medication options, generally speaking most increase dopamine in brain areas associated with the task network. Luckily, the medications we have available to treat ADHD are incredibly effective.

Do Behavioral Interventions Help?

Yes. Meditation has been proven to be a very effective way to lessen symptoms. Eliminating sugar from your diet as well can have a significant impact. Most importantly, behavioral changes are key. Folks with ADHD need to develop systems to help themselves. Things like calendars, lists and reminders are critical. Many magically hope they will just remember an to-do just this one time because of its importance. This method often fails. You want to set yourself up for success. Find systems that increase your functioning.

Gay Men and ADHD

Is there anything different for gay men? Absolutely not. Gay men experience ADHD just like straight men do. Sexuality and identity play absolutely no part in this condition. Anyone suggesting otherwise is drawing an unnecessary conclusion. I’ve seen a lot of blogs and literature recently suggesting gay men have higher rates of ADHD. There is no substantial evidence to support that claim. At least not that I’ve seen so far.

If you’d like to learn more about ADHD, I’d highly recommend Andrew Huberman’s podcast as well as the book “Altered Traits.”