IT STARTS SLOW
You may not think of yourself as having a substance use problem.
Many gay men who engage in chemsex feel conflicted — knowing something isn’t working, but unsure whether they want or need to stop.
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Substances like meth, GHB, cocaine, or others can become closely tied to sex, confidence, connection, or escape.
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What may begin as a way to feel more open or desired can slowly become something harder to step away from.
Chemsex therapy offers a space to understand that pattern without judgment.
UNDERSTANDING THE PATTERN
Chemsex is rarely just about drugs.
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For many men, substances become linked to:
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confidence
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belonging
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sexual connection
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emotional relief
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Over time, the brain learns to associate intimacy with chemicals. Sex without them can begin to feel difficult, flat, or even unsafe.
This isn’t about willpower. It’s about conditioning. And conditioning can change.
WHO THIS IS FOR
Chemsex therapy may be helpful if:
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You feel unsure whether your use is a problem
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Substances are tied specifically to sex
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You’ve tried to stop but return during hookups
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Sex without substances feels difficult
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Shame plays a role in your use
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You’re sober but intimacy still feels challenging
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You don’t need to identify as “addicted” to begin.
FINDING A PATH
Not everyone’s goal is abstinence.
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Therapy can support:
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Harm reduction
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Moderation
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Abstinence
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We begin by understanding your relationship with substances — not forcing a decision.
SPECIALIZED EXPERIENCE IN CHEMSEX & SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY
This is a specialized area of my work.
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My clinical experience includes working at one of the few treatment programs in the United States specifically focused on chemsex and party-and-play (PnP) patterns among gay men.
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In addition to direct treatment work, I’ve taught graduate-level training on this topic — helping future clinicians understand the ways substances, sexuality, shame, and conditioning can become intertwined.
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Much of this work overlaps with patterns related to pornography use and compulsive sexual behavior, which often exist alongside chemsex dynamics.
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For some men, substances and digital stimulation become part of the same cycle of escape, arousal, and emotional regulation.
Understanding these patterns in context allows therapy to focus not just on stopping behavior — but on reshaping how intimacy and connection are experienced.
EXPLORING THESE PATTERNS FURTHER
I’ve discussed many of these dynamics — including how substances, sexuality, and emotional escape can become linked — in educational conversations on my YouTube channel.
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If you'd like to understand more about how I approach this work, you're welcome to explore those discussions.
Watch the Channel:
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Do I need to stop using before starting therapy?
No. You don’t need to commit to stopping in order to begin. Therapy can be a place to understand your relationship with substances and explore what change might look like for you.
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Is chemsex the same as addiction?
Not necessarily. Many men don’t identify as addicted but still feel conflicted about their use. Therapy focuses on understanding the role substances play in your life rather than applying labels.
Can therapy help even if I still want to keep using?
Yes. Some clients want abstinence, while others are exploring harm reduction or moderation. We work collaboratively based on your goals.
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How does porn use connect to chemsex?
For some men, pornography and substances become part of the same cycle of arousal, escape, or emotional regulation. Therapy can help unpack how these patterns reinforce one another.
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Is this work confidential?
Yes. Therapy is confidential and intended to provide a safe space to explore these patterns without judgment.
WHAT CHEMSEX THERAPY CAN HELP WITH
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Separating sex from substance use
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Rebuilding confidence without chemicals
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Reducing shame
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Strengthening intimacy
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Developing sustainable change
